The voting is complete. As in most Minnesota elections, we don't have a clear winner, but we have a sort of winner and a bunch of write-ins that really make you think.
I was a little disappointed that we didn't have caucus representatives from all of Minnesota's usual political parties: The American Party,The Better Life Party, The Christian Freedom Party, The Communist Party, The Constitution Party, The Democratic-Farmer-Labor Party, The For Independent Voters Party, The Grassroots Minnesota Party, The Green Party, The Independence Party, The Independent Party, The IVOTEMN.net Party, The Libertarian Party, The Moderate Independent Party, The Natural Law Party, The New Generation Party, The Nonpartisan Party, The People Not Party Party, The Quit Raising Taxes Party, The Reform Party, The Republican Party, The Socialist Equality Party, The Socialist Workers Party, or The Unity Party (I'm not making this up).
But it's probably just as well because they don't know much about fender crud anyway, which is the real issue here.
So, without further ado, and because I'm sure you can't take much more of this and neither can I, here are your election results:
It was actually a lot closer than the exit polls showed.
The winner was:
None of the above (email it over)
with 5 votes (36%)
the write-ins are as follows:
"Car Turds" 1 vote
"Clunkers" 1 vote
"Fenderbergs" 1 vote
"Granita Crudite" 1 vote
"Snow Boogers" 1 vote
The next single-candidate majorities were:
"Fender Fudge"
4 votes (29%)
"Wheelwell Wedgies"
3 votes (21%)
"Salt Stalactites"
2 votes (14%)
There you have it!
But it's probably just as well because they don't know much about fender crud anyway, which is the real issue here.
So, without further ado, and because I'm sure you can't take much more of this and neither can I, here are your election results:
It was actually a lot closer than the exit polls showed.
The winner was:
None of the above (email it over)
with 5 votes (36%)
the write-ins are as follows:
"Car Turds" 1 vote
"Clunkers" 1 vote
"Fenderbergs" 1 vote
"Granita Crudite" 1 vote
"Snow Boogers" 1 vote
The next single-candidate majorities were:
"Fender Fudge"
4 votes (29%)
"Wheelwell Wedgies"
3 votes (21%)
"Salt Stalactites"
2 votes (14%)
There you have it!
We don't have a concise name for "those nasty pieces of crud that you try to karate kick off your car at the gas station," but we have some ideas.
I hope you feel represented.
Open the bars, the election is over...!!!
I hope you feel represented.
Open the bars, the election is over...!!!
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