Search My Infinite Universe

December 21st, 2012 - Nothing About The End Of The World

Hey look, it's a blog post. Meh.
As I'm sitting down to the luncheonette counter of the 'Friendship House Diner' (formerly Wendy's) the other day, one of the waitresses is rolling up silverware (well, not SILVER exactly, not in color or composition; but forks, spoons, and knives anyway) into napkins and chucking them into trays to be brought out to freshly 'cleaned' tables.
She's laughing about something and the other waitress is saying, "Well, I guess I can't move to Tennessee, because I won't be able to use my Tennessee pickup line!"
I had just suffered through three hours of bad personal interaction with a 'client' and was looking to leave that behind me, so I wanted in on this conversation.
"What's the 'Tennessee pickup line'...?, I ask, "or maybe I don't want to know...," I say.
The napkin waitress says laughingly, but to me as to a confidant, "Oh, she has all these pickup lines. The Tennessee one goes something like, "Hey stranger, are you from Tennessee...?"
I play along and answer, "Why no, why do you ask...?"
"Because you're the only Ten I see in here," she answers back.
"Oh man," I say.
"Yeah," she says. "And then there's the Windex one."
"The Windex one...?"
"Yeah, hey, is that Windex on your pants...?"
(Me looking at my pants, then back at her) "No, why...?"
"Because I can see myself in them."
We laugh.
Then I think of one I heard a long time ago.
"I got a Kentucky one for you, I say."
"Yeah, let's hear it!"
(I'm staring at the grease-stained ceiling trying to get it right) "Okay - what's the best pickup line to impress a girl in a hillbilly bar in Kentucky...?"
"What," she says.
"Nice tooth!" I say.
She laughs.
Napkin waitress goes off to ring someone up at the till, and I spoon through my chili trying to cool it off.
She comes back and starts to roll up more napkins. She says, "Yeah, she's got her own set of lines, not my style at all. Mine are more like the, 'If you were a booger, I'd pick you' sort of thing."
I laugh. "No wonder they have those signs in the bathroom about washing your hands," I say.
She looks at me nonplussed for a second then laughs and rolls up more napkins.

You didn't really think I would start a blog post with a title like that and not talk about the end of the world, did you?
Not that it isn't an important topic, but I'm kind of sick of everyone talking about it, and even more fed up with the commercialization of it. A friend of mine posted a picture from the Renaissance Festival saying, 'If the world doesn't end on 12/21/2012, we'll give away 5 free pairs of tickets to the 2013 Renaissance Festival on Monday! Click and share this post to win!'

I was thinking, 'Well, this is the end of a Renaissance era, and the beginning of a capitalistic one.'
At least they are only after clicks, whereas the news today is full of stories about people going to Mexico to spend their last days, have an excuse to party, hide in a bunker or whatever, and the locals saying, "It's great that they've bought into this myth, this is good for us!"
The whole thing reinforces in me that we as humans can't seem to think outside our world, our little Earth. Our mindset is that because we invented our own religions, philosophies, and cultural traditions, that everyone in the universe must behave like us, because we set the example, it's all we know. It's what 'The World' does.
What is 'The World' anyway...? Some sort of quantified description that we invented for our earth culture. Is it the human race, the earth, the universe...? What ends when the world ends...? If the end of the world happens, is that the end of time, too? Can time have an end, or does what lies before and after it have a definition that can be measured? What do we do when our calendar runs out? Get a new calendar, I guess.

I wonder if an intelligence from another part of the universe were ever to get to Earth, what they would think of our attitude and basing of everything on our transcribed history and traditions, which have become our beliefs. Maybe the 'alien' culture will be the exact same way but have their OWN set of rules and traditions and think they are the only race in the universe. What will they think of the Bible? The Koran? Euthanasia? Social order? It would be an interesting thing to see. Philosophy would be back in style.
There is the phrase, "Think locally, act globally." Maybe it should be more like, "Think globally, act universally."

- T.