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May 30th, 2010 - The Voice of a Lake

Hey, I wrote this back in November of 2009 for the "1000 Friends of Minnesota's - Voices of a Lake" essay contest, and had completely forgotten about it. Well, I'll be dipped if they didn't pick it for the finals and post it today!

"The Voice of a Lake" by Tim Boyle

I seen lotsa changes in my coupla thousand years as a lake, you betcha I have.
I might be a little thick ‘round the edges, but don’t let that fool ya. Parts a me are from the Laurentian Divide, parts from the Mississippi. I can’t tell ya how this whole ‘vaperation cycle thing works, but I swear parts a me cooled them reactors at Monticello, and parts been driven on by ice fishers at Mille Lacs. I keep my blue eye on the sky and I see lots. It rains and my thoughts come in, from all over. Thoughts from rivers, farm fields, clouds looking down from them big hills out past the prairie, don’t even know what they call them places. I been here all my life.

Guess it’s like most things, I don’t member my early years. Somethin’ ‘bout some big mother lake up north that was all over the place, ‘sposta come from some big chunk a ice, sounds about right for northern Minnesota, lemme tell ya! This thing melted and flowed all over, inta all the kettles and pots and into the swampy bowl that was my crib. After that things jus’ kept happenin’. I felt big old fish swimmin’ around in my belly and beavers bigger’n Paul Bunyan chompin’ up trees ‘round my edges, making me even bigger. Perty soon there was people spearin’ stuff and fishin’, lemme tell ya it was somethin’ ta see, an I seen it all. There’s trappers and rafts and boats and jetskis.

I never really noticed zactly when, but my thoughts comin’ in seemed like theyz changin’ ever so slightly, I started noticin’ some thoughts I ain’t never thunk before, stuff ‘bout fertlizers and some weird kinda tastes, – not nice tastes like rottin’ algae in the sun, but kinda bitter slippery stuff thaz all differt colors. Seemed like the plants in my belly started ta grow differnt, I doan know, it’s been so long and I seen so much, it’s hard fer me ta tell. I jus’ take it all in. Maybe one a them scientists sittin’ ‘hind a desk downstate could tell me somethin’ bout it, but I doan know nothin’ cept my own thoughts that trickle in.
I figger iz jus another part o’ me, jus a drop in my bucket, quite litterly as them good speakers say.
I jus leave it all up ta them.

Your friend,

The Lake

May 28th, 2010 - I'm a Freak of Nature

Yo ho...! Sorry for the lapse. Holy frijoles, the world is spinning like, um, the world spins.
Since starting my new job with the Wisconsin Department of Agriculture as a Plant & Pest Disease Specialist - Nursery Inspector, LTE, (Nursery Inspector "Lite") (No, it actually means "Limited Term Employee", what the Naturalist world calls "a Seasonal") I have been on a non-stop merry-go-round of plant inspections in my four SE Wisconsin Counties (Dodge, Jefferson, Washington, and Osaukee) (Wow, I spelled it right the first time) as well as trips criss-crossing the state in a random ant path and just haven't had time to crank out blog posts.
In lieu of that, I have put together a collection of freakish and surreal plant things I have come across in my travels, and that will have to do for now.
Till next time, when you smell manure, think of me.
Visit the weirdness:

- T.