December 29th, 2007 - The NEW FORD ESCAPE LIMITED

What is a limited escape anyway?
Heeya! Break from the herd!
Prepare to go it alone without all the fuss and bother
of actually leaving.

The crookED BRidge

When civil engineering becomes "public art", this is what happens.
I kept thinking, they'll straighten it up one of these days... one of these days... one of these days... Hey. Maybe it's NO, not SUPPOSED to {CRINGE} look like UGH, THAT. NOoooooo.
However it IS the largest taut-cable something something or other between here and Chicago, but it looks like it's falling over! Look at it, for cri-yiy! The street people's most common response seems to be, "Hunh, looks normal to me. Do you have a dollar?" Then one day after gaping at it stopped at the 31st street stoplight, a thought came to me.
I shuddered again. A sinking ship. It reminds me of a sinking ship and I have to drive under it. All that award-winning architectural ingenuity to create a self-supported crooked bridge that will bear the crushing weight of bicycles and pedestrians wanting to get over a 150 ft. span of Hiawatha Avenue and it looks like something that is already broke. The thing has the biggest nuts, bolts, and cables on it I have ever seen. Maybe there was a sale at the gigantic department at Menards.



The capper tho, is that damn thing at the top, at the topmost pole, cut off at an angle. Cut off not at the angle of the bridge to the ground, but cut off at an angle parallel to where the next crooked cable would be placed, the phantom cable. My shape-oriented obsessive-compulsiveness, created many years ago through oh so many Playskool (couldn't they at least spell THAT right?) Busy Boxes, Tool Benches, and Lite-Brites makes me want to take a helicopter and gigantic pliers and staighten that teasing little bugger out.

I love a lot of wires on my public art structures, as there really isn't enough of the omnipresent power lines and inescapable billboard struts to see as it is.

One day, as I was riding under THE CROOKED THING on the train (a.k.a. The LRT locally) a woman in a long coat was gushing on and on about the wondrous bridge, "Isn't it just the MOST BEAUTIFUL BRIDGE you have seen in your WHOLE LIFE!" "And what really sets it off are the LIGHTS!, the LIGHTS!, THE LIGHT'S AT NIGHT! They are really sumpthin"!
I just couldn't wait for my return trip home so I could see the AMAZING lights.
The lights were blue.
One was out.
The bridge remained crooked.